And bad girls go everywhere
And tonight I will love you
And tomorrow you won’t care.
by The Weeknd - Wanderlust (via perfect)
I know drugs are bad and that they ruin families but so does monopoly and that’s still legal
Alright so one time when I was 14 I had to go to the doctor for a check up and I had just started going through puberty so I was all hormonally out of control and got boners all the time and the doctor had to check out my package to make sure puberty was doing its thing and he told me to unzip my pants and I was really nervous and I got a boner and when me pulled my underwear down it got caught on my dick and my boner slapped him in the chin
once i was babysitting my neighbor’s 6 year old and she asked me why i was so ugly and without thinking i said “i’m you from the future” and she cried for like 30 minutes
my talents include being able to sit on the toilet for 30 minutes being distracted by my phone
tear my panties apart not my heart
yesyesyesyes (via psychedelic-flower-childd)
I feel like I’m going to be that aunt who drinks vodka straight out of the bottle and ruins Christmas.